Step Seven

[MajestyJo]

Step Seven

"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

Since this Step so specifically concerns itself with humility, we should pause here to consider what humility is and what the practice of it can mean to us.

Indeed, the attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of A.A.'s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all. Nearly all A.A.'s have found, too, that unless they develop much more of this precious quality than may be required just for sobriety, they still haven't much chance of becoming truly happy. Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency.

Humility, as a word and as an ideal, has a very bad time of it in our world.

Not only is the idea misunderstood; the word itself is often intensely disliked. Many people haven't even a nodding acquaintance with humility as a way of life. Much of the everyday talk we hear, and a great deal of what we read, highlights man's pride in his own achievements.

With great intelligence, men of science have been forcing nature to disclose her secrets. The immense resources now being harnessed promise such a quantity of material blessings that many have come to believe that a man-made millennium lies just ahead. Poverty will disappear, and there will be such abundance that everybody can have all the security and personal satisfactions he desires. The theory seems to be that once everybody's primary instincts are satisfied, there won't be much left to quarrel about. The world will then turn happy and be free to concentrate on culture and character. Solely by their own intelligence and
labor, men will have shaped their own destiny.

Certainly no alcoholic, and surely no member of A.A., wants to deprecate
material achievement. Nor do we enter into debate with the many who still so passionately cling to the belief that to satisfy our basic natural desires is the main object of life. But we are sure that no class of people in the world ever made a worse mess of trying to live by this formula than alcoholics.

For thousands of years we have been demanding more than our share of security, prestige, and romance. When we seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still greater dreams. When we were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion.

Never was there enough of what we thought we wanted. In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living. Quite characteristically, we had gone all out in confusing the ends with the means.

Instead of regarding the satisfaction of our material desires as the means by which we could live and function as human beings, we had taken these satisfactions to be the final end and aim of life. True, most of us thought good character was desirable, but obviously good character was something one needed to get on with the business of being self-satisfied. With a proper display of honesty and morality, we'd stand a better chance of getting what we really wanted. But whenever we had to choose between character and comfort, the character-building was lost in the dust of our chase after what we thought was happiness. Seldom did we look at
character-building as something desirable in itself, something we would like to strive for whether our instinctual needs were met or not. We never thought of making honesty, tolerance, and true love of man and God the daily basis of living.

This lack of anchorage to any permanent values, this blindness to the true purpose of our lives, produced another bad result. For just so long as we were convinced that we could live exclusively by our own individual strength and intelligence, for just that long was a working faith in a Higher Power impossible. This was true even when we believed that God existed. We could actually have earnest religious beliefs which remained barren because we were still trying to play God ourselves. As long as we placed self reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God's will, was missing.

For us, the process of gaining a new perspective was unbelievably painful. It was only by repeated humiliations that we were forced to learn something about humility. It was only at the end of a long road, marked by successive defeats and humiliations, and the final crushing of our self sufficiency, that we began to feel humility as something more than a condition of groveling despair. Every newcomer in Alcoholics Anonymous is told, and soon realizes for himself, that his humble admission of powerlessness over alcohol is his first step toward liberation from its paralyzing grip.

So it is that we first see humility as a necessity. But this is the barest beginning. To get completely away from our aversion to the idea of being humble, to gain a vision of humility as the avenue to true freedom of the human spirit, to be willing to work for humility as something to be desired for itself, takes most of us a long, long time. A whole lifetime geared to self-centeredness cannot be set in reverse all at once. Rebellion dogs our every step at first.

When we have finally admitted without reservation that we are powerless over alcohol, we are apt to breathe a great sigh of relief, saying, "Well, thank God that's over! I'll never have to go through that again!" Then we learn, often to our consternation, that this is only the first milestone on the new road we are walking. Still goaded by sheer necessity, we reluctantly come to grips with those serious character flaws that made problem drinkers of us in the first place, flaws which must be dealt with to prevent a retreat into alcoholism once again. We will want to be rid of some of these defects, but in some instances this will appear to be an impossible job from which we recoil. And we cling with a passionate persistence to others which are just as disturbing to our equilibrium, because we still enjoy them too much. How can we possibly summon the resolution and the willingness to get rid of such overwhelming compulsions and desires?

But again we are driven on by the inescapable conclusion which we draw from A.A. experience, that we surely must try with a will, or else fall by the wayside. At this stage of our progress we are under heavy pressure and coercion to do the right thing. We are obliged to choose between the pains of trying and the certain penalties of failing to do so. These initial steps along the road are taken grudgingly, yet we do take them. We may still have no very high opinion of humility as a desirable personal virtue, but we do recognize it as a necessary aid to our survival.

But when we have taken a square look at some of these defects, have discussed them with another, and have become willing to have them removed, our thinking about humility commences to have a wider meaning. By this time in all probability we have gained some measure of release from our more devastating handicaps. We enjoy moments in which there is something like real peace of mind. To those of us who have hitherto known only excitement, depression, or anxiety--in other words, to all of us--this newfound peace is a priceless gift.

Something new indeed has been added. Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity. This improved perception of humility starts another revolutionary change in our outlook. Our eyes begin to open to the immense values which have come straight out of painful ego-puncturing. Until now, our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems. We fled from them as from a plague.

We never wanted to deal with the fact of suffering. Escape via the bottle was always our solution. Character-building through suffering might be all right for saints, but it certainly didn't appeal to us. Then, in A.A., we looked and listened. Everywhere we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. We heard story after story of how humility had brought strength out of weakness. In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain. We began to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever.

During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God. And this was true whether we had been believers or unbelievers. We began to get over the idea that the Higher Power was a sort of bush-league pinch hitter, to be called upon only in an emergency. The notion that we would still live our own lives, God helping a little now and then, began to evaporate. Many of us who had thought ourselves religious awoke to the limitations of this attitude. Refusing to place God first, we had deprived ourselves of His help. But now the words "Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works" began to carry bright promise and meaning.

We saw we needn't always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility. It could come quite as much from our voluntary reaching for it as it could from unremitting suffering. A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have. It marked the time when we could commence to see the full implication of Step Seven:" Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

As we approach the actual taking of Step Seven, it might be well if we A.A.'s inquire once more just what our deeper objectives are. Each of us would like to live at peace with himself and with his fellows. We would like to be assured that the grace of God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We have seen that character defects based upon shortsighted or unworthy desires are the obstacles that block our path toward these objectives. We now clearly see that we have been making unreasonable demands upon ourselves, upon others, and upon God.

The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone. The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God. The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is really saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have.

[MajestyJo]

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

Since this Step so specifically concerns itself with humility, we should pause here to consider what humility is and what the practice of it can mean to us.

Indeed, the attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of A.A.'s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all. Nearly all A.A.'s have found, too, that unless they develop much more of this precious quality than may be required just for sobriety, they still haven't much chance of becoming truly happy. Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency.

AA 12 Steps & Traditions

For me, humility is getting out of the way, knowing that I am not the power. It means to remain teachable and open to other ideas other than my own. It isn't humiliation and saying "I don't know and I can't do." It is saying, "We can do what I can't do by myself."

It is my understanding that true sobriety is unattainable without it. I can stay sober, put the plug in the jug, but I don't change and grow in what I call the "Fellowship of the Spirit" and become the person my Higher Power would have me be.

http://www.quotegarden.com/humility.html

As they say, it is so hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way!

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

Sorry I am late in continuing this but have been problem with headaches and my pain didn't allow me to get out of the way and I had trouble thinking through it and concentrating to do this.

[MajestyJo]

Humility, as a word and as an ideal, has a very bad time of it in our world.

Not only is the idea misunderstood; the word itself is often intensely
disliked. Many people haven't even a nodding acquaintance with humility as a way of life. Much of the everyday talk we hear, and a great deal of what we read, highlights man's pride in his own achievements.

AA 12 & 12

Most people see the word and think humiliation. So many of us has experienced it prior to recovery, that we don't want to even look at the word let alone explore what it means.

Two phrases that stand out for me when I see the word came fro two old-timers.

"Humility means to become teachable."

"If you hear someone say they have humility, you know they don't have it."

There are different views and viewpoints on the subject.

http://www.livinglifefully.com/humility.html

http://www.spirithome.com/humility.html

For me it is getting out of pride and ego, looking at the true self and being whole through the love and grace of God. Not of myself, but accepting that without my God, I am nothing.

Prior to recovery, I was the leading authority in everything. Just ask me! I think I can still come across that way, but don't mean it in a negative way, I just share what has been given to me by the people in the Fellowship and through my own meditation and prayer. I do know that my way won't work for everyone. Everyone has to find their own way.

Like the saying, "I have been doing this for "x" number of years, and am not about to change. That is ego. I have been doing this a long time but it no longer serves me and I need to change it is an act of humility.

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

With great intelligence, men of science have been forcing nature to disclose her secrets. The immense resources now being harnessed promise such a quantity of material blessings that many have come to believe that a man-made millennium lies just ahead. Poverty will disappear, and there will be such abundance that everybody can have all the security and personal satisfactions he desires. The theory seems to be that once everybody's primary instincts are satisfied, there won't be much left to quarrel about. The world will then turn happy and be free to concentrate on culture and character. Solely by their own intelligence and labor, men will have shaped their own destiny.

AA 12 & 12

What a lot of delusion! So many ifs! If we do this, this should happen and we end up shoulding all over the place. Intellectualizing and trying to figure things out never worked for me, I tried!

My best thinking and reasoning got me to the doors of recovery.

Certainly no alcoholic, and surely no member of A.A., wants to deprecate material achievement. Nor do we enter into debate with the many who still so passionately cling to the belief that to satisfy our basic natural desires is the main object of life. But we are sure that no class of people in the world ever made a worse mess of trying to live by this formula than alcoholics.

AA 12 & 12

How many times in my life, I tried to 'figure' things out. Time and again, I tried to control things, either my drinking or the people around me, only to get hurt, time and again. Which generally ended up with me beating myself up, angry at God and resenting the people around me. Playing the blame and shame game, not knowing that I didn't have the power.

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

For thousands of years we have been demanding more than our share of security, prestige, and romance. When we seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still greater dreams. When we were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion.

Tiger Woods put it very plainly in his speech. He thought he was entitled and it was his due and rules didn't apply to him. I could so identify with my own feelings and with what I saw within my husband. I would get a resentment, not recognizing that it was a reflection of something that was being mirrored from within me.

Again, some is good, more is better. If first I don't succeed, try, try again, not recognizing that in truth, I was giving up and instead of living, I was looking for a way out of life.

Never was there enough of what we thought we wanted. In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living. Quite characteristically, we had gone all out in confusing the ends with the means.

All my life I was told I was a sinner which made me the lowest of the low and not worthy of anything and allowed myself to be subject to a lot of abuse, be it at my own hand or that of others.

What I didn't know was that SIN for me means Soul In Need. I was needy, and when I got needy, I got greedy. What I was doing wrong was looking outside of myself, instead of going within. I used people, places and things to get to where I thought I need to be to me successful and whole.

Never realized that when I got what I thought I wanted or needed, it wasn't enough and I wasn't content until I went searching for more. Always wanting something bigger and better and not being content with what was. Always looking to the future or resentful and angry about the past, and missing out on today.

[MajestyJo]

Instead of regarding the satisfaction of our material desires as the means by which we could live and function as human beings, we had taken these satisfactions to be the final end and aim of life. True, most of us thought good character was desirable, but obviously good character was something one needed to get on with the business of being self-satisfied. With a proper display of honesty and morality, we'd stand a better chance of getting what we really wanted. But whenever we had to choose between character and comfort, the character-building was lost in the dust of our chase after what we thought was happiness. Seldom did we look at
character-building as something desirable in itself, something we would like to strive for whether our instinctual needs were met or not. We never thought of making honesty, tolerance, and true love of man and God the daily basis of living.

AA 12 & 12

This reminds me of a person who repeatedly told me that I needed to be a useful and productive member of society and I took it personally to mean that though I was on disability and didn't have a job that paid money that I was a loser. I didn't have a home and a paying job even though I volunteered and did service, it wasn't enough.

I came to realize that 'stuff' doesn't matter. It can be made of many things some important, some not so important but all it was was stuff. I also realized that when I collected it my world got crowded and I didn't have much room to move around and for me to change, and build the character that is spoke of here, was more important.

When I went back to school, I did a job placement. I got two reviews that were better than anything I could have written myself. I even got a job interview as a result of them. I went back to school in 2001 and gave up service to focus on me! Not one of my better choices. All I got out of it was a new awareness that I had no desire to go back into the work force after working for 22 years. It was okay to volunteer once in a while and I had to find a total acceptance of my limitations as a result of my disability. I couldn't allow others to take my inventory. I had to make things right with my God and with myself.

It was important to be me. It was more important to be the best me that I could be in today.

To be continued...

My apology for the delay in continuing the Step. I have not been feeling well and along with everything else, I have been fighting headaches. I didn't want to do them when I feel that I can't be in the right frame of mind, body and soul to continue the post.

[MajestyJo]

This lack of anchorage to any permanent values, this blindness to the true purpose of our lives, produced another bad result. For just so long as we were convinced that we could live exclusively by our own individual strength and intelligence, for just that long was a working faith in a Higher Power impossible. This was true even when we believed that God existed. We could actually have earnest religious beliefs which remained barren because we were still trying to play God ourselves. As long as we placed self reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God's will, was missing.

AA 12 & 12

Was raised with values, or should I say things I valued that some how lost their importance along the way.

Many times in my life I didn't see much purspose a reason for being and I tried to find myself through others, and looked to them for validation and affirmation instead of looking for any worth within myself. I certainly didn't look to God to fulfill my needs. I more or less blamed Him for everything any way without taking into consideration that things were my choice and that was something He had granted to me which I didn't know I had.

It wasn't that I didn't believe in God, I didn't think He could ever believe in me when I didn't have much faith in myself. To bolster myself, to puff myself up and put on the bravado that I was okay and that I knew what I was doing, I put up this false front and this facade trying to fool everyone and the only one fooled was myself.
I became the 'leading' authority on everything. If I didn't know the answer, I would make sure I found out so that the next time you asked me, I would know! I was always searching for answers and wanting to know how it was done and how it worked for others so I could get it to work for me. I did not know I didn't have the power.
Ask God, what does He know? Today I know He is the truth and His way works not mine!

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

For us, the process of gaining a new perspective was unbelievably painful. It was only by repeated humiliations that we were forced to learn something about humility. It was only at the end of a long road, marked by successive defeats and humiliations, and the final crushing of our self sufficiency, that we began to feel humility as something more than a condition of groveling despair. Every newcomer in Alcoholics Anonymous is told, and soon realizes for himself, that his humble admission of powerlessness over alcohol is his first step toward liberation from its paralyzing grip.

AA 12 & 12

For me it was hearing a girl who called herself my unofficially adopted daughter say, "I don't want to be like her down the hall" and know that she was talking about me. I had to ask myself, "Am I really that bad? the answer was, "Yes I am!" and reached out and picked up the phone and asked for help.

For some time, I heard the word humility and could only equate it to humiliation. I had been humiliated many times over on my journey to get here and didn't want to be humiliated any more. I didn't want to feel less than or feel as though I was not measuring up and would see some people in the program and think I was failing. I came to realize that a smile and laughter can cover up a multitude of sins. (sin- soul in need)
I was amazed that I was given this second chance at life and was very humble to see that the gift was granted to me when I felt like so many others were more deserving.

The only way I could admit that powerlessness was to substitute the word control. It was the illusion of control that caused the humiliation.

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

So it is that we first see humility as a necessity. But this is the barest beginning. To get completely away from our aversion to the idea of being humble, to gain a vision of humility as the avenue to true freedom of the human spirit, to be willing to work for humility as something to be desired for itself, takes most of us a long, long time. A whole lifetime geared to self-centeredness cannot be set in reverse all at once. Rebellion dogs our every step at first.

AA 12 & 12

I am reminded that I didn't get this way overnight and that I don't heal and get better overnight and that recovery is a process. There are no quick fixes. When I am ready the teacher will appear. Even if I rebel and want to hold onto something, my Higher Power keeps bringing me back until I sit up and take notice.

Often looking at the whole picture was too overwhelming and I had to take things one step at a time, one issue at a time, one defect at a time. As I healed, I became more aware and the more I realized I couldn't stay in denial.

The more I worked the Steps and looked at myself I realized it wasn't me, that I wasn't the power and that things were happening often in spite of me.

continued...

[MajestyJo]

This lack of anchorage to any permanent values, this blindness to the true purpose of our lives, produced another bad result. For just so long as we were convinced that we could live exclusively by our own individual strength and intelligence, for just that long was a working faith in a Higher Power impossible. This was true even when we believed that God existed. We could actually have earnest religious beliefs which remained barren because we were still trying to play God ourselves. As long as we placed self reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God's will, was missing.

There was very little purpose in my life and my main focus was what I could do to please others with the hope that they would like and accept me. All values and principles were put aside with one hope, to find some person, place and thing to make me feel better. I knew there was a God but had no thought of asking Him for help because I thought He had no use for me. Anything about a God in my life was fear based so I didn't have much faith in that direction.

For us, the process of gaining a new perspective was unbelievably painful. It was only by repeated humiliations that we were forced to learn something about humility. It was only at the end of a long road, marked by successive defeats and humiliations, and the final crushing of our self sufficiency, that we began to feel humility as something more than a condition of groveling despair. Every newcomer in Alcoholics Anonymous is told, and soon realizes for himself, that his humble admission of powerlessness over alcohol is his first step toward
liberation from its paralyzing grip.

It was only when I was sick and tired of being tired and sick that I was able to reach out and ask for help. It was enough already! Don't know what I need to do, but what ever it is I am willing to do it to make changes in my life.

At first admitting that I didn't know, that I didn't have a solution was humiliating in itself. I had to learn to be honest, open my mind to new concept other than my own (my best thinking got me here) and be willing to go to any length to not use people, places and things and to learn to rely on a Higher Power.

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

So it is that we first see humility as a necessity. But this is the barest beginning. To get completely away from our aversion to the idea of being humble, to gain a vision of humility as the avenue to true freedom of the human spirit, to be willing to work for humility as something to be desired for itself, takes most of us a long, long time. A whole lifetime geared to self-centeredness cannot be set in reverse all at once. Rebellion dogs our every step at first.

When we have finally admitted without reservation that we are powerless over alcohol, we are apt to breathe a great sigh of relief, saying, "Well, thank God that's over! I'll never have to go through that again!" Then we learn, often to our consternation, that this is only the first milestone on the new road we are walking. Still goaded by sheer necessity, we reluctantly come to grips with those serious character flaws that made problem drinkers of us in the first place, flaws which must be dealt with to prevent a retreat into alcoholism once again. We will want to be rid of some of these defects, but in some instances
this will appear to be an impossible job from which we recoil. And we cling with a passionate persistence to others which are just as disturbing to our equilibrium, because we still enjoy them too much. How can we possibly summon the resolution and the willingness to get rid of such overwhelming compulsions and desires?

This reminds me that I didn't get this way overnight and I don't get better overnight. It also reminds me of my human nature although that is something I personally don't like to consider because to allow myself to be vulnerable is one of the scariest things in recovery. So many times I used the words "I am only human to excuse my behavior, to not make changes and to give myself leeway and absolve me of guilt and responsibility.

I had to pray for the willingness to be willing to be truly honest with myself. To look at myself as to who I truly was, not who I thought myself to be or tried to portray myself to others so they wouldn't really know the true me lurking inside. It was so easier to point them out in others not knowing that they were a reflection of what was truly within myself. It takes one to know one, be it positive or negative.

Some where just too comfortable, some where seemed just too necessary and felt like I would be giving up myself, some would mean taking down a barrier or letting go of the blanket of denial. It was all a process and taken one step at a time, one day at a time, the same as my freedom from the bondage of alcoholism.

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

But again we are driven on by the inescapable conclusion which we draw from A.A. experience, that we surely must try with a will, or else fall by the wayside. At this stage of our progress we are under heavy pressure and coercion to do the right thing. We are obliged to choose between the pains of trying and the certain penalties of failing to do so. These initial steps along the road are taken grudgingly, yet we do take them. We may still have no very high opinion of humility as a desirable personal virtue, but we do recognize it as a necessary aid to our survival.

But when we have taken a square look at some of these defects, have discussed them with another, and have become willing to have them removed, our thinking about humility commences to have a wider meaning. By this time in all probability we have gained some measure of release from our more devastating handicaps. We enjoy moments in which there is something like real peace of mind. To those of us who have hitherto known only excitement, depression, or anxiety--in other words, to all of us--this newfound peace is a priceless gift.

AA 12 & 12

My thought when I read the first paragraph was "God answers knee-mail." It took me a long time to be willing to go down on my knees to ask. I could go there mentally, but had difficulty doing into physically. It took that to get to a true point of surrender for me. In later years, I went back to the mental, because physically if I got down I might not have gotten up.

Why do I want to continue acting out in my disease? Why don't I want to become a new me? Is a lot of my defiance and lack of humility due to "Don't tell me what to do? I'll do it when I am ready? The old way served me for years, no reason to change it now." We get stuck in our old ways and think you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Personally, I didn't want to live with the old me. The old me prior to recovery didn't want to be around any more. If I want freedom from the bondage of addiction, why shouldn't I be willing to be free of the defects that were often a result of that addiction, or in some case, were there before I ever picked up a substance.

When I think of substance, I think of alcohol, drugs, relationships, food, computer, work, exercise, religion, and all those other Anonymous programs out there.

Why shouldn't I want this priceless gift of peace?

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

Something new indeed has been added. Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity. This improved perception of humility starts another revolutionary change in our outlook. Our eyes begin to open to the immense values which have come straight out of painful ego-puncturing. Until now, our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems. We fled from them as from a plague.

Learning to face our problems and issues is a big Step forward. To be able to turn things over, to ask for help, and find a willingness to open our minds and our hearts to new things. To find self-honesty and be willing to face reality and responsibility for our part.

Like the words "nourishing ingredient" a wonderful picture for me of feeding my body, mind and spirit and remembering that my disease if phsyical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

We never wanted to deal with the fact of suffering. Escape via the bottle was always our solution. Character-building through suffering might be all right for saints, but it certainly didn't appeal to us. Then, in A.A., we looked and listened. Everywhere we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. We heard story after story of how humility had brought strength out of weakness. In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain. We began to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever.

AA 12 Steps & Traditions

Almost doen't have much to say, the words say it all and don't need my two cents added. Pain seemed to have been the story of my life, childhood death, abuse, accidents, just life in general seen through my eyes. Two abusive marriages and several relationships just compounded the misery and the sad thing was I thought it was normal in part and the rest I deserved.

All I had done was feel humiliiations and didn't understand this humilty thing. All I had to do was to be open to a new way of life. My working towards humilty, I learned to be a better me and through the healing find myself.

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God. And this was true whether we had been believers or unbelievers. We began to get over the idea that the Higher Power was a sort of bush-league pinch hitter, to be called upon only in an emergency. The notion that we would still live our own lives, God helping a little now and then, began to evaporate. Many of us who had thought ourselves religious awoke to the limitations of this attitude. Refusing to place God first, we had deprived ourselves of His help. But now the words "Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works" began to carry bright promise and meaning.

AA 12 Steps & Traditions

Love the last sentence. For me, that is the difference. I stopped playing God with my life and that of others, and looked to find my own understanding of God and make Him personal.

I was brought up in religion and I still became an alcoholic and an addict. So I didn't have much faith in the church. Then I found out that my God is bigger than any church and that I was limiting Him by my limited ideas and concepts. Today, God is all things. I take all things to Him, with the exception of those I forget until I am in a stew and then I remember, oops, forgot to give this one over. I like it that a day can start any time.

It was indeed my attitude. It had to change. I was very anti-religion. I would hear the word SIN and shudder. I thought I was a walking sin, a piece of nothing, totally worthless and unlovable. Today I know I was a SOUL IN NEED looking for something outside of herself to make her feel better. When I turned the direction inward and took the journey from my head to my heart, I began to change. I found God. I found me. And today we travel this recovery road together.

[MajestyJo]

We saw we needn't always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility. It could come quite as much from our voluntary reaching for it as it could from unremitting suffering. A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have. It marked the time when we could commence to see the full implication of Step Seven:" Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

AA 12 & 12

I am reminded of the phrase "Seek and ye shall find." Often when we demand something and think it is our just dessert and our right, we can't seem to quite grasp something or once we had it, we were not satisfied with it and thought it should be more.

I once heard a person say, "If you hear a person say they are humble and have it, you know he doesn't" So thinking I have humility, is an ego trip, but having it to me, is being at one with my God and knowing it is a gift to me and that is there when and if it is needed.

Not sure that makes sense, but it is something that I find is very special. I once had a man say when he was thanking me for speaking and he said, "A lot of humility there." I almost broke into tears. Yet there was a part of me fearful because of what I heard the man say in early recovery. Don't say I am humble, it will make it go away!

Today, I know that I have to ask for the help to remove my short comings. It isn't possible to do it myself. Even when I am diligent, my humanness which I still don't like, comes up to the plate and they can be back as strong as ever if I allow them their rein. Most days I have a good batting average but on other days, my score card does read zero and I need the Master Batter to knock them down and put them and me in my place. Thankfully it isn't done with abuse, but with a loving hand and a kind and gentle word to redirect me to where I need to be.

At one with myself, and those around me. As I have been thinking and what has been coming very much to mind lately, at one with the Universe. My needs are met.

To be continued...

[MajestyJo]

As we approach the actual taking of Step Seven, it might be well if we A.A.'s inquire once more just what our deeper objectives are. Each of us would like to live at peace with himself and with his fellows. We would like to be assured that the grace of God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We have seen that character defects based upon shortsighted or unworthy desires are the obstacles that block our path toward these objectives. We now clearly see that we have been making unreasonable demands upon ourselves, upon others, and upon God.

AA 1 & 12

This reminds me that this is not a hurried up affair. I could do what I was capable in early sobriety but again, as I achieved more self-honesty, I was able to see the real me for who I was.

I also saw as it says here how much of a hard task master I could be and would beat myself up over my human traits. Of myself, I can not work this Step. I need the God of my understanding to transform this person I had become into something He would have me be. So many times, I fell short of my own expectations, that of others, and to what I perceived my God would have me be. Again, I was living in the "I" an it is Thy will, not mine be done. Yet in order for that to happen, I have to have the awareness and the acceptance before I can make the admission and turn them over to my Higher Power for what generally boiled down to a change of attitude.

God's Grace led me to the doors of recovery. His Grace continues to work in my life, when I get honest, surrender and accept who I am each day. If I keep an open mind, a willingness to do His will and turn my disease, my defects of character and my shortcoming over to Him, the program will work for me.

All this is needed to make up the whole package. It is also a healing process, and because of that human nature, they can come back again, and have to be turned over once again.

As I have said before, many people think defects of character and shortcomings are the same thing. I see them differently. I see defects as my thoughts and nature; and I see the shortcomings as acting out those thoughts and behaviors. It isn't good to think them but it is even worse to act them out.

To be continued...

p.s. Remember if you press Ctrl + you can make the print larger if you have problems reading these posts. I have kept them small because of space.

[MajestyJo]

The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone. The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God. The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is really saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have.

AA 12 & 12

Again, it is the change of attitude. The personality change sufficient to bring about recovery.... It isn't about putting down the drink, but change can't happen unless I do. It is about making changes in my life and asking for help.

To come to a place where I accept that I don't know it all. A place where I can ask for help and not as it says by demanding or making what I want known, but aligning my will with my God's and willing to be taught this new way of living. A willingness to change my thought patterns, old behaviors that stand in the way of being who my God wants me to be, and to let go of anything that jeoprodizes my sobriety.

The following is a definition of humility. Many people have different ideas as to what humilty truly is. I particularly like the word egolessness!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humility

I can't, God can, just for today I choose to let Him. Not just the alcohol and other substances in my life, but my life as a whole!